Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
White jilbab/abaya from http://www.maryamsboutique.com/product_info.php?products_id=737&osCsid=536 for $54.99 USD.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I am going to be posting a little less fashion for this Ramadaan (excepting Eid outfits and gift ideaas:D) and focussing more on my deen by doing Islamic posts. Hope nobody minds. Love you all for the sake of Allah subhanhu wa ta ala and I wish you a blessed month of Sha`baan, ameen.
This video above shows with quotes from the Qu'ran and the ahadiths and the Christian Bible the commands to call the prayer, wash for the prayer, and motions for the prayer.
This video below shows the proofs and prophecies in the old and new testaments of the Christian Bible that foretold the coming of the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu alahi wa salaam:
And why Muslims do not follow the Bible (I studied archeology and history and after studying the subject, I just couldn`t BE a Christian---but the Qu`ran's sources had not changed, unlike the Bible):
AND this is what was banned from the Bible`s sources:
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Friday, July 24, 2009
July 24th, 2009
Well today, since my husband would not be able to accompany me out to the Masjid, I decided to wear niqab. I do this for two reasons. A. I AM most comfrotable this way. and B. the brothers coming to the Masjid for Jum'aa deserve it from all the sisters in our city for us to wear good khimar and jilbab and practice good hijab so they CAN serriously make no excuse for any lack of hijab on their part, ever.
I put on a black abaya, and a very light and breathable black flip-niqab from Oman. It doesn't have a string and I NEED a string (since this thing slips up into my eyes without a string), but it is the lightest most breathable niqab fabric so I didn't care. I flipped the flip part of the niqab to one side, and pinned it into place with a white flower hair pin (that has a crystal center---found in a bridal accessories sale). People find the black niqab less threatening with a big giant sparkly flower strapped to the side of it.
The girls at the hair salon next to my flat are all smiles at me when I walk by and so is the middleaged Doctor who was having a lemonade break outside his offices (but then, these people know me on a daily basis of me running errands and being, ya know, normal, in the village). And the Doctor has always been kind in a normal way to me and my husband, saying goodmorning to us as if we were anyother married couple out for a stroll in the village.
Walking by myself down the street towards downtown people passed peacefully without even too much staring, until I heard a group of four teens from across the street. "Tell her to take that mask off her face" one of the boys (cowardly) urges another. "She's white" says the girl with them. Yes, even forty feet away and nothing but my hands and eyelids showing, the glare of my hands, and the odd green-ish grey of my eyes remains noticeable. I am no Saudi-exchange student.
"I can also speak English, so I can hear AND understand you," I say as they cross the cross walk to intersect with me. "I am a convert to Islam, and my family has lived in this city since the 1800s." Canada isn't even all that old, and my city, relatively young, so this makes some impression.
The cowardly one (urging his idiot friend to tell me to take off my mask but unwilling to do so himself) pipes up. "I am one third Pakistani."
So you want to fit in here, I get it. I am not afraid of anyone but Allah when it comes to my identity as a Muslim.
Idiot (might be drunk) friend decides to pipe up. "I am nine inches and you can have me in you"
Yes, because in ANY other circumstance it is TOTALLY okay to propose sex to a stranger on the street in a threatening way. But you know, I am a Muslim woman. And I am veiled. So I don't deserve the same rights as another plain dressed woman walking down the street. If he saw me in what I was wearing under my abaya (chiffon floaty knee-length dress and stretchy sweater with hair in a bun and diamond drop earrings---underneath I look like a ballet dancer on the way to practice at the studio) I'm sure the incident would not have happened. But it is because the media objectifies Muslim women, and especially the munaqaba woman.
"No thank-you," I politely decline, not threatened, but almost laughing. The guy is not sexually attractive whatsoever, to make such a statement. Never in my life would I ever contemplate dating the guy. These "crony-type Men" always propose sex in a rape like way when they feel out of control. It is something I have learned from past experiences (but that is another story entirely).
The girl's eyes follows me as I move away, and she is left with those sad two, the man that feels sexually and physically threatened by diminuative but empowered me enough to act out like an evil pig, and the other, that is afraid of not fitting in. I saw that she did not hate me, fear me, objectify me. She doesn't know what I look like exactly, but she saw ME. My essence. And it was essentially normal, and it was STRONG, and DIRECTED. I know the look of being lost one's self. And realizing it. That was her look, helpless and lost.
I continued one way, she went another, may Allah guide her (she's the only one out of the three that was intelligent enough and maybe strong enough to increase in any kind of understanding but Allah knows best).
There's alot of construction on the luxury end of the downtown stretch between my more artsy humble area (we can call the area I was walking towards the uptown downtown) so I passed by alot of construction workers. Two gaped, but most went on with their work normally, which is something that never happened when I was a non-muslim ESL teacher and men from the construction sites would actually leave the worksite to try and give me their phone numbers (and I was never the sexy one--I am more the librarian bookish girl type---lol I learned to dress more sexy after I started wearing abaya and met alot of arab women:D).
I have to mention, even before Islam, I never recieved a cat-call in my life, or a whistle. I always understood that how we presented ourselves in clothing represented the level of respect we would eventually recieve from strangers. Men ALWAYS treated me with respect because I dressed like a woman who deserved to be treated that way (although they still saw me as approachable in respectful-but-still-sexual way). My bestfriends (still not Muslims) Am and B always wondered how I found the "hopelessly dedicated" one guy in the nightclub, when B found the weekend fun guy, and Am the creep [and lol, I gotta mention, I never kept a phone number or gave out mine since I didn't want find my true love in a bar]. It was, I told them, because of how we dressed. I dressed in a way that was intimidating for all but those who were serrious. One of Am and B's string of boyfriend's put it as, "[Pixie] dresses like a man wants his wife to dress." The creeps, and the immature, could read clearly, that they need not apply. My husband said that when he first saw me as a teacher in his ESL school (I was never his teacher and did not know him as a student---I only met him at my going-away party from when I left the school) what he liked about me was how I dressed. A childhood friend put it best. "Some women, how they dress, says I want to be touched. Some women dress in a way that says I need to be held. You are the kind of a woman, that when I man sees you, he knows this is a woman he cannot just touch, he has to hold her."
My niqab says, I am beyond the touching and holding of all of those on the street. It says, my beauty is for myself and for Allah.
I think it is good for the men (male construction workers). And the older ones looked like they were thinking of their daughters when I passed by. Or maybe that is because they remind me of my father. I think they were thinking, what would I do if my daughter dressed like that? It would ease some of my problems but it would make her life hard, almost impossible to get a job, get married, lol. Of course I cannot read minds.
I cross up the cross-walk up to the mall. Most people don't stare. Women in their thirties or over DO. And they are, in my experience, the worst when it comes to prejudice. Young tween girls are capable of making ignorant comments among themselves, but at least don't stare and get off telling someone else how to live their lives, lol.
But believe it or not, I am totally aware of not a single man enjoying the sight of my face. I feel comfortable and less self-concsious. And people know that I am Muslim. And they see my little flower. It shows that I got my own way of dressing. They seem to like to hear me talking in plain English on my cell as I prepare to meet up with my little sister. They like to eavsedrop and smile at my conversation, so normal, so NOT what they expected.
My sister and I hug outside a bookstore. She's in skinny jeans and a longish white tee, and pink gelly flip-flops. She's got a bit of cleavage. My sister is the curvy one. I am a bit too slim. People seem awed by our pairing. As if I am not supposed to be able to hold a conversation with a non-scarf wearing female. We break down a billion stereotypes.
BTW, my sister is fine with my Islamic clothing. She says she can still see me in everything that I wear. That I cannot hide myself in anything less than a blue afghani chador with mesh. We joke about my father finding out that I am going to be wearing niqab.
It is summer. Jane is not the most naked chica out there, so it hardly draws any attention whatsovever, till we hit up the Masjid. Then I feel uncomfortable, because the Arab guys think that she is Arab (she can pass for Saudi or Mexican) and do notice her. But they see her with me, and tend to give her a little more respect than eyeing her up as potential convert-marriage meat soon to be on the market---that'd probably happen if she arrived by herself. They'd see her as somebody's girlfriend. Instead of a Muslimah's guest.
We put Jane in a cotton prayer garment in the masjid (which she informs me smells like BO) and she looks soooooooooooo cute. Women say salaam to her, and she responds a bit hesitantly in English "and upon you" to let them know they've made a msitake and she is NOT a Muslim. I, of course, can take of my niqab since there are no men in our side. Then we head back downtown for shopping, Jane rejecting the prayer garment (lol). We have to buy her some jewelry to go with her dress for my civil-service weddings (btw way, Boxie, I found a glam blue [not seafoam]pashmina and it'd look sweet with anything white that you own if you want to wear it for my day]. Only one woman in the stores there give me that odd look that you know isn't curious, but hey, she's working in a store for trendy 20-somethings, and she kinda looks like she's in her late 40s. The young girls of Le Chateau are helpful, and understand that I know what I am doing when it comes to styling stuff, and we can discuss fashion with no barriers and lots of smiles.
We are done our day, Jane catches the bus home. I go grocery shopping. I hear a little boy ask his father why I am wearing what I am wearing. The father says, "Because that is her religion, she is a Muslim." The little boy keeps staring. "But why is she wearing so much black." I laugh and come up to the little boy and wink. "I wear this colour because I don't like to get as dirty as I would be if I wore white or lighter colours. I only wear my pink one for weddings because I am so messy," and I lift the hem of my abaya to show the boy my feet that are kinda grey with dirt. Both him and the father smile. The girl at the checkout is completely normal. I walk down the last stretch of road before my flat and see two arab guys drive by. Don't be ashamed of your deen brothers, I silently urge them, and then, in my home, I flip up my niqab, pray Asr, and then take it off. Day one on the journey to niqab recorded.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
أَرَأَيْتَ الَّذِي يُكَذِّبُ بِالدِّينِ
فَذَلِكَ الَّذِي يَدُعُّ الْيَتِيمَ
وَلَا يَحُضُّ عَلَى طَعَامِ الْمِسْكِينِ
Have you seen the one who denies the Repayment?
[Surah Ma'oon, verses 1-3]
Notice the connection here–verse one, the one who denies Ad-Deen, the Day of Repayment. And verse two and three? He drives away orphans, He doesn’t encourage feeding of the poor. It’s not that he doesn’t feed the poor. It’s that he doesn’t encourage feeding the poor.
2. pink kuwaiti hijab from http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://www.simplyislam.com/images/products/57318.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.simplyislam.com/iteminfo.asp%3Fitem%3D57318&h=400&w=340&sz=28&hl=en&start=24&tbnid=FML6jCjB1dgSVM:&tbnh=124&tbnw=105&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpink%2Bhijab%26start%3D18%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN for $7.86 USD
Grey workout jilbab from http://www.everythingislamic.com/scripts/prodView.asp?idProduct=366 for $30.99 GBP.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Plain black abaya from http://www.sunnahstyle.com/product_info.php?pName=plain-classic-closed-abaya&osCsid=92a0f4069979130300457283b149d376 (just cut off the tassels). I LOVE THE WEBSITE it is from, btw.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The print is definately zany enough for me but the cut is tight tigh tight. Colour and print, soooo cute. Tightness=hijab crash and burn.
This is my favourite look of the collection, and it also has a bolero. Which means, I personally, wouldn't wear any of it (as previously explained) but this would look on another sister. The last look is very pretty.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Question: Is it halal for me to hug [/touch] a male friend? as a Muslim woman?
Answer: Even with the best intentions, and the purest hearts, the answer is no. The Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a non-maharam woman." [Al-Mundhiri mentions that all the narrators of this hadith are trustworthy. Al-Albani classifies it as a good hadith in Ghayah al-Maram (no. 403).] The same goes for women touching non-maharam men, other than tending fatal wounds or in conditions in cases of emergancy, which other ahadith allow, such as in the battles of Jihad against the Quraysh. Even for Islamic instructions and occasions, men and women did not touch. The Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam never shook hands with an unrelated woman. Umaymah b. Raqiqah said: "I came to the Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam with a group of the women of Madinah to swear fealty for Islam. The women informed Allah's Messenger sallalahu alahi wa salaam that they wished to swear fealty to him. The Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam said: 'I do not shake hands with women. The way I accept the pledge from one woman is the same as with one hundred women [which was documented to be verbally]." [al-Muwatta', Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Sunan al-Nasa'i and Sunan Ibn Majah]. It is known that when men wanted to enter into Islam, they used to do bay'ah with the Prophet where they agree to abide by his commands and avoid anything he prohibits. Then they used to seal this by shaking hands with the Prophet. However, with women, the Prophet used to never shake their hand and simply complete the bay'ah with words. And who can have a more pure heart than Prophet Mohammad sallalahu alahi wa salaam , who said "I do not shake hands with women"? The Prophet's wife Aisha also said: "No, by Allah, Prophet Mohammad's hand never touched a women at all, and he used to take bay'ah from them by words". May Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala make the answer apparent to one who seeks it, and easy to obey, ameen.
The person asking the question mentioned male friends. A Muslim woman does not share her personal life with non-maharam men, as mixing of men in women in Islam is in most cases haraam (sinful/harmful to mankind), and the rest makruh (disliked). The Holy Qu'ran describes the role of men and women like this, "The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another" [Holy Qu'ran 9:71]. It also states that women and men were created to be spouses of one another, but I'll admit, I am too lazy too look that ayah up cuz I'd have to make wudu to get my Qu'ran out, lol. I'll try and add it later, inshaAllah or someone else can try and beat me and add it in the comments section:D It does not say anywhere in ahadith or Qu'ran that men and women's role towards eachother should be anything more than as protectors, or if married or related, caregivers and providers. Friendship between spouses was cherished in the forms of being playful with one another, confiding in one another, pleasing eachother, and physically taking care of one another. Unmarried men and women who played the role of protectors in society, were discouraged from entering on the private places of one another:
Narrated by 'Uqba bin 'Amir: Allah's Apostle said, "Beware of entering homes or rooms in which non-maharam ladies are." A man from the Ansar said, "Allah's Apostle! What about (Al-Hamu) the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.)?" The Prophet replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself.” In this hadith we see that men were told not to purposefully go to the same places as non-maharam women. This also applies to women, as explained after the next hadith.
Narrated by Abu Huraira: A group of women came to Allah’s Prophet and said to him: “We cannot attend your majlis (gathering) of men, so, appoint us a day to come to you (alone).” He said: “We will meet at the house of so and so.” He went to them on the specified date and place. Among what he said at that day to the present women was “any woman who rises up three children for the sake of Allah will enter paradise.” One woman said: “And two?” “And two,” the Prophet said. This hadith illuustrates that is was known to the women of the Sahaba (may Allah be pleased with them) that they also should not purposefully enter into the company of non-maharam men. They also knew not to speak uneccessarily in the presence of non-maharam men. Narrated by Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "The saying 'Sub Han Allah' is for men and clapping is for women i.e." (If something happens during the prayer talking is not allowed, except the men can invite the attention of the Imam by saying "Sub Han Allah (i.e. Glorified be Allah )", and women, by clapping their hands). But saying that exchange of asalaam alaykom may be given between men and women when there is not fear of temptation, and conversation may occur with good intention. Narrated by Asmaa: Allah’s Apostle passed by a group of women near the mosque. He waved his hand to them in salutation and said: "Beware of being ungrateful to your husbands, beware of being ungrateful to your husbands.” And, Narrated by Anas bin Malik: The Prophet passed by a woman who was sitting and weeping beside a grave and said to her, "Fear Allah and be patient." So we may socially inform, question, and Islamically greet and advice our non-maharam brothers and sisters in Islam, but this is the extent of the mixing between men and women in Islam. It certainly was NOTHING like a "platonic" relationship between a man and a woman popular outside of Islam.
When scholars warn against the free mixing of men and women, they are not talking about the mere presence of men and women together in the same place. This is something that is definitely not prohibited by Islamic Law. Men and women gathered in the same place at the time of the Prophet sallalahu alahi wa salaam in the mosque and in the marketplace. They walked down the same roads and public thoroughfares. The mere presence of men and women in the same area is not a great cause for temptation. It would be wrong to treat this as unlawful mixing, since the reason for prohibiting free mixing does not exist in such circumstances. If someone were to prohibit men and women from frequenting the same public places under the pretext of preventing temptation, this would be taking matters to an extreme and imposing a restriction that is unduly severe. Such a policy is, moreover, unnatural and would impose great hardships on people's lives.
We cannot compare situations like these to the general presence of men and women at shops and other open public places, especially when women are accompanied by their family. In such cases, there is no intimacy, no crowding, and no reason for suspicion. Preventing women from public places frequented by men in order to prevent temptation would be taking things to an extreme. A woman is commanded in Islam not to come too close to men. She is not, however, prohibited from going to places where men are present as long as she does not approach them or place herself in a position where she is alone with them. There can be no doubt that preventative legislation is an important part of Islamic Law. There are numerous rulings in Islam that are preventative in nature. However, this does not mean that we can legislate against every remote possibility of wrongdoing that we can think of. Doing so would be a violation of Islam's tolerance and magnanimity and its ease of application. It would place too great a burden upon the believers.
People might differ as to the degree of mixing that is prohibited. We can, nonetheless, get a good approximation of proper limits by reviewing the laws of Islam that govern the relationship between men and women. The sacred texts provides ample evidence about how and when men and women can meet, how women should dress and conduct themselves when they go outside, and many other pertinent matters. It is impossible for free mixing between men and women to occur if Islamic Law is properly observed. (the last bit was taken word for word from here http://www.islamcan.com/youth/prohibition-of-free-mixing-between-men-and-women.shtml). As I felt it was a good explaination, and contains more evidences than I have provided. Just think about it (I know it can be hard, being a non-muslim with male friends in the past myself) but in the Holy Qu'ran Allah subhanu wa ta'ala says "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Surah al-Nur: 30-31]. This shows us how men and women are to conduct themselves. So how I am going to bestest best platonic budies, with a man I am not supposed to be looking at, and who I am speaking to only in a modest manner (speech not soft and informal on the basis of subject---I am not speaking to him unecessarily, only to inform, teach, help/do a job I must/ give dawah, greet, ect)? I am not. I am going to be his protector in the public sphere. Only if I am married to him, or his sister of daughter or neice, ect... am I going to by pleasing and easing and playful. He, the same to me.
Here are some great posts on the subject I enjoyed reading by others sister:
LET'S GET REAL ABOUT FORNICATION -what counts as fornication and adultery in Islam http://liveloveislam.blogspot.com/2009/04/original-post-by-sister-bint-halal.html
LET'S CHAT -adab between brothers and sisters online and outside
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
ACTUAL QUESTIONS TAKEN FROM A FEW ONLINE DATING SITES