Thursday, April 18, 2013

Muslimahs should tell eachother the truth and stay friends through fiqh and thin

This is my friend Boxie's style (okay, well, she doesn't own that abaya but...)
There are three points to this post: # one is to tell the truth in kind Islamic advice about hijab on hijab blogs and how this can never be negative, # two is to never judge another sister and how advising is not judging, and number #3 is to not divide our Muslim communities on minor issues. Recently a debate arose where I asked the question, when did there emerge a pressure on Muslimahs to "shut up" about incorrect hijab? When did it become wrong to say "that is not hijab because the Qu'ran says the khimar [headscarf] must cover the breasts".

 Of course, there are a tonne of haram police out there, but anyone politely posting Qu'ran or hadith to explain why clothing must be loose and not show skin, or the shape of the body, are accused of dividing the Ummah and judging other sisters. I was told "because it is negative and people don't want to hear it." I of course, can't even begin to compare the importance of hijab and obeying Allah with the importance of declaring the oneness of Allah, but such an argument is to ignore the Qu'ran and allow others to engage in an error. For example, the Quraysh tribe did not want to hear the Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessings be upon him) when he told them to stop worshipping idols, and their lewd and elitist behaviors. Was he (peace and blessing be upon him) being negative? Because the men of the Quraysh did not want to stop drinking, did not want to give up power, did not want women to cover or have rights ect.... Of course not. 
My SIL's style---I and her family give her naseeha all the time
 Which brings me to point number 2. I have friends who dress in all kinds of ways, in all different stages of hijab. All of them pray and are Muslim and that's the most important thing right? But that doesn't mean I don't advise them if I think they are disobeying Allah in anything, nor do they hesitate to advise me. We call enjoining the good and admonishing the evil, naseeha, in Islam. Naseeha means "advice". Advice is never judgmental. It should be given in love, in private, and in the nicest way possible. And it only need ever be said once. If you've told the person, your duty is over, unless they are misguiding others, and then you have to advise the others as well, otherwise once is enough. No one likes a nagger. I advise my close friends with ayaat & ahadith to back up what I am saying, on issues that vary from nailpolish+wudu, scarf covering the chest, hair extensions, plastic surgery, ect... One mistake people usually make with naseeha is they try to make the person feel ignorant or bad, or they will shun them if they don't change. On the internet, and hijab blogs, this is often done by bashing, storming a comment's section with a barrage of same after same, unfriending, or stopping or cutting off contact. This is not a Muslim's duty towards another Muslim. A Muslim's duty is to love and advise one another. Judgment  is for Allah alone.
Aalia's style.
Majda's style

 Point number 3 is pretty simple. I think the fact that my friends wear everything from niqab to skinny jeans and hair out means that I am not a judgmental person in the slightest despite saying the truth about my beliefs. I don't believe it is pointing out the faults in another person, or thinking one is better than another for saying what the Qu'ran says about something. In fact, on this blog, I've often written posts about what the Qu'ran says about something even if it is something I suck at or don't do. Truth is the truth, whether or not I'm at that level. I believe in being friends with people through fiqh and through thin, even if we have different understandings, schools of thought, or acceptance in Islamic matters.
Hiba's style (I advised her once about khimar and jilbab---she's advised me many times about sadaqah)
Zaenith's style: Muslimahs don't have to be carbon copies of one another, they should just want for others what they want for themselves, and that is to be the best person possible and have others' support towards this.

Zaenab's style
Riham's style
Anyways, not much else to say on this matter. I am tired from all the effort that went into making these collages of my friends' different hijab styles. Goodnight;)

1 comment:

Boxie said...

I like the abayas, and the mock-ups. good post.