Saturday, March 28, 2009

NON MUSLIM Q: do you dress like that at home?

Non-muslim question, one I have heard from strangers on the street, to co-workers that I have worked with for over two years: do you dress like that at home? Meaning, do I cover head to toe in abaya, and do I shower and sleep in my hijab.

Answer is....... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOL. You guys are so cute.

For those who have known me in the staff room for over two years, of course not. You know I like to talk about your new highlights, and compliment your tank tops and nailpolish. If I lived in my abayas and hijabs I would never care about your cute capris or where you got your high-lights done, and how much it cost, ect ect. I only wear hijab and loose modest clothing in front of non-mahram men (men that theoretically it would be medically and morally permissable for me to marry). If the only male co-workers and bosses and clients we all had ladies was my milk-brother S, I would only wear my abaya to work, and then I would hang it up. When you see how I dress underneath my abayas (when I feel like it-with abaya you have a choice of what you want to do in terms of effort and ease) it would click on your heads that I read Vogue more than ya'll and the only thing I am interested in, in the gossip pages you love to buy, is whowhatwear page. I like fashion. I like art. I like beauty. (I THINK GOSSIP IS TRASHY and I know when ya'll are talking about me as if you feel sorry for because I dyed my hair red and ya'll can't see it---Tracey and Erin and others you are excused from this). LOL, I don't shower in it, and yes, my husband has seen my hair AND body. He is also well aware of my fashion sense, and encourages me to express myself however I see fit.

I am a bit more dressy than most, and eclectic, and I can get away with wearing pretty much anything because as all you co-workers are aware, I can eat and eat and eat and I am still in danger of losing more weight and fitting less size zeros than Kate Moss (health issues all, that have taught me to value food). Anyways, I am a dress-up girl, part explorer, part lady, part come what-ever-i-like little girl. My style before Islam was a little more modest than I like to dress now, because back then, I didn't have the sheild of the abaya, and I didn't want to expose my body or playful parts of my personality (and femininity) for the reality that people would focus on only one aspect of who I am, or misjudge me, or abuse my character in some way. I now have the freedom to determine where and when I am what and who I am to the fullest, safely, and with self-respect.

LOL the outfit pictured above is an outfit I own than I am going to wear on wednesday (it could be tacky but on me it isn't soooo I am going with it till trends change:D). The items are a little different but the composition is the same. I have a pink plaid chiffon top (but mine has a tie-neck unlike the set one), and I am wearing it with white lace-trimmed capri tights and a white pouf mini from Jacobs. I am playing with white lace fingerless gloves, a black jewel bib necklace, a heart shaped bag, crystal cuffs and bracelets, suede chunky pumps, red lipstick, smoky eyeshadow and my hair braided to the side, with pink satin ribbon woven through it. It looks somewhat sexy, very playful, and more cute than all that. I wear and abaya over top and a coloured pashmina, and the same bag, and ya never know. I could also be wearing my pajamas under it all.Question: DO I RESENT that MUSLIM MEN (including my husband) can WEAR STORE CLOTHES in the HOME and ON THE STREET?

Not the way my husband dresses I don't. He always covers his awrah, and while he is less into sunnah dressing than me, he always covers what he's supposed to (shoulder, belly-button, sexy abbs). My husband is almost always in long sleeves, and he is always scented nice, and when he goes swimming, he covers his stomach and chest with a surf suit because that is more modest, and he doesn't want women checking out his physical beauty and more than I want men other than the love of my life seeing MY beauty and personality and sexuality. My husband likes fashion and shopping (more than most Canadian men I know), and he's a fan of graphic tees, vests, blazers, fedoras, scarves round the neck, and sneakers (he's got more shoes than I do but I am competing in purses). The two of us share my pink shemagh (and I'm happy that I got a man that isn't afraid to wear pink). I still would prefer him to wear a thobe and ghutra in the West, but I am not gonna pressure him, like he never pressured me to wear abaya or even hijab. After all, he is very stringent on the sunnah of using miswaak and rinsing the mouth and smelling all good. Alhamdulilah, he has always been more on with me to do the fard obligations than the sunnah of the fard but he couldn't care less if I wore a pink dishdasha over a black abaya in the West. He worries about my safety and wishes I'd wear less black and seems afraid that I might someday wear niqab here and get attacked by neo nazis, but he supports me when I feel strongly on an issue so long as I am doing everything more important than that particular idea in my head already. For example, before I wear niqab, he'd like to see me ALWAYS praying nafl. Muslim men have hijab too. Their hijab is to lower their gaze, and cover their awrah, and then fulfill their other obligations, and then do all the sunnah they can. I DO resent Muslim men who wear bathing suits that expose their awrah while their wives are in full niqab on the beach, or who dress like male models and leer at women while their sisters and mothers are well-behaved at home. THESE MEN I bare my TEETH for. And I DETEST. DETEST UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY. These fools and tools are the reason I appreciate one of the aspects of my hijab, although my hijab is more than an aspect of "sheild".LOL, and I had to include this, because inshaAllah the daughter I have will have my husband's curly hair (he says inshaAllah not) and his complexion (this he says sure but hopes she gets my weirdo eyes). I will teach my daughter that hijab is something that deserves respect and is a grown up thing. One that represents her freedom as a woman to move about in the world and make her own decisions. Underneath of that responsibility (and true freedom is at the same time the most dire responsibility) she can be safe to show every aspect that she is, and develop all facets of herself without impediment.


Najm-us-Sahar said...

AOA Pixie,

Are you expecting a daughter? really!!!!!! how did i miss this news?


Pixie said...

Najm-us-Sahar: No, not pregnant. Imagining my kidsis all LOL. I'm not ready yet! InshaAllah kheir.

Melissa said...

Aw, what a cute little girl, mashallah!

Najm-us-Sahar said...

Ohhh!!!!!ok......i thought i missed something somehow about u having a kid........

no problem, you will have a very sweet little muslimah daughter or a very cute boy InshaAllah.....

Having kids is the most sweet, innocent and beautiful blessing that Allah gave me in my life. I can't seem to live without my daughter since i gave bith to her. She is 2.5 years old Masha'Allah and InshaAllah will be starting school very soon.

Chica said...

Pixie - you will so appreciate FRENCH VOGUE!

I love it soo much, the styling is absolutely brilliant, Carine Roitfeld, the french editor craps all over Anna Wintour!

Also, do you go to If you look at the sartorilaist section to see what the fashion editors are wearing at all the shows... 'tis amazing!

YOU will defnitely appreciate is... Scott Shurman , the man who takes all the pics has hs own blog... its called you prolly already heard of it

im tellin you girl YOU will love it! Im sure you will...

American Muslima Writer said...

"Sexy abs" averts eyes LMAO!

Lol definitly cool we can wear anything under abayas (as long as it covers)

Yes men soo need to cover their awrah as mucha s they want us to cover ours.