Thursday, May 7, 2009

Friday Focus: To the Murabbiyat

One of the reasons I have realized I don't want kids is I don't know how to fully teach them the Qu'ran and sunnah yet. I want to be as wise as this mother was:

There is a story, narrated by sister Umm Abdulrahman, in a lecture we attended - the "sister what you can, should and must do!" lecture. She was talking about the main role of a muslim woman as a mother and a murabiya (raising children) and she questioned the mothers of our ummah today and how exactly they are raising their kids.. mainly what techniques they use to build that love for Allah swt wa rasuluh and deen al-islam within their children and making them leaders of our ummah who would raise the deen of Allah swt most high.

There was a little boy who went to his mother and told her:"mummy, mummy I've grown up, I'm a big man now!". His mother looked at him and said "no you have'nt grown up". The boy was confused, and tried proving that he has. She looked at him in his eyes and said "You have not seen prophet muhammad pbuh yet. You will not grow up until you see the rasul saaw in your dreams".

[Contemplate here: in most scenarios mothers would tell their children, "oh yes dear, your a very big boy. as strong as superman!" to show them they are capable of anything, and allahu a3lam superman later becomes their role model as well].

The boy so adamant of growing up and being a man said "but how can I see prophet muhammad pbuh in my dream?" His mother replied "well, you must learn about his life, read quran and hadith, follow his sunnah like using a siwaak, fasting, praying the sunnah prayers etc - follow what he advised us to do and try to be just like him" Then the boy went, on his journey doing as his mother said, trying to achieve his aim of growing up and being a man. And one day, the little boy ran to his mother and said "mummy, mummy I've grown up, I'm a big man now!" and again his mother replied as she did before "no you have'nt, until you see rasul Allah pbuh in your dream". Then the little boy broke into tears saying "I saw rasul Allah pbuh in my dream last night.." and cried even more saying "who am I to deserve seeing such a perfect man?"

And there we go, subhan allah.. The little boy not only achieved his dream of being a grown up man, but he also saw the best man to ever cross the surface of this earth, rasul Allah pbuh, when he was only 7 years of age. La illaha illa Allah. Fellow murabiyaat* and murabiyaat-to be .. what are your thoughts?

***Keep in mind this not only applies to the mothers out there, but the fathers as well and the fathers-to-be insha'Allah

One of our possible roles as Muslim women, is as teachers, teachers of the Qu'ran and hadith, Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala's commandments, the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu allahi wa salaam's sunnah (his example to mankind). We must attend the Masjids and read as much as possible to obtain the knowledge to be able to fulfill this natural role. There is more to being a Muslim mother than simply having a baby and feeding it, and seeing that is goes to university and gets a good job in adulthood. Any good disbelieving woman can also accomplish that also. It is our role as Muslim women, even more so than the Imam at the Masjid or the Shiekh at the madrassa, to teach young Muslim men and women (as children) about their Islam.

If you have children, think of something that you may learn so that you may teach your children more of the deen. Live the sunnah more in your own lives to be good example.

If you have no children yet, understand the importance of your education so that one day soon you might know the urgency of it. The ummah, from its infancy, was always dependent on the mother's of the believers, may Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala be pleased with them.

17 comments:

sayyidah nafisah said...

Salam,the same goes to me.We want our son or child to be a good Muslim,but at the same time, we dont have so much knowledge to teach etc.But, me Im not married yet.

alya said...

you can teach a child values and ethics. you teach them by living your life as an example, just like how the prophet pbuh is an example for us.

later on in their own lives, they will question and seek more answers beyond mere practices. this is when you guide them. and you'll tell them that you're still learning too [cos learning doesnt have an end].

Maryam said...

Salaamualaikum,

I was just thinking about this.

right now, I'm trying to gain all the knowledge I can about Islam. So in the future, InshAllah, I can have enough knowledge to be a wonderful teacher for my children and be a better muslim.

Anonymous said...

salam, thanks for the great post. i dont have children yet but i have been thinking of the same things; ho to rase my child to be good muslim. I am not the best kind of muslim, sometimes not even near, but i want to be. When i have kids i don´t want to teach them what islam is and then not do it myself. I want to be a good example to them. Thank you for this post, it helpes me to teach myself even more.
Nina

Chica said...

one of my greatest fears also.... if only i had half the wisdom that they do!

OurAdviceTooTheWomen said...

Wow walahi i just posted a blog JUST like this on my site subanaallah, its a new blog but this is one of the first things i posted!!!

check it out inshaallah

http://www.ouradvicetoothewomen.blogspot.com

UmmRania said...

Assalamu Alaikum,

Interesting post, I agree and disagree with you. I agree that we, as mothers, need to raise our children to the best of our abilities as good Muslims. I dont agree that we should wait years and years until we think we know enough. I have 3 children (MashaAllah wa Alhamdullilah) and I can tell you, as well as any other mother, that no matter how much knowledge you think you have, you will be tested by those children and you will not always have an answer. You dont have to be an scholar before you are ready to have children, for you will also learn with your children. I know the point of what you are getting at in your story, but I didnt really like it. I dont think seeing Muhammed (sallallahu Allahi wa salam) in a dream is the biggest goal in life or what makes someone a good Muslim or not. I think a better example would have been to say "you havent memorized Quran yet" or "you dont pray all your daily prayers yet"......something along those lines. JazakAllahuKhiran for the thought provoking post.

Pixie said...

Umm Rania: I didn't say everyone should wait to have enough knowledge to have children. I said I AM. Me personally. I am also tired of seeing mothers that think a Muslim woman's role is to sit at home and yet they don't bother with thier child's Islamic education whatsoever while that child is young, not increasing their own Islamic knowledge at that time spent at home. This is the oppposite of many sisters I have known, mashaAllah, whose children can recite Qu'ran and pray at five. The kids don't have to pray but love it. Anyways... Our goal is to raise our children to go to Jannah. Indeed, they make their own choice in the end, but if you don't give them the background and example as a parent, you might be blamed for some of their failings.

Pixie said...

Our advice to the women: mashaAllah, some good first posts. He he he I am your first follower.

Pixie said...

Chica: InshaAllah, when it comes around to it, inshaAllah you and I will be fine.

Pixie said...

Nina: yeah, exactly, that is how I feel.

Pixie said...

Wa laaykom e salaam ramatullah wa barakto Maryam: Me too, inshaAllah.

Pixie said...

ayla: with you %100

Pixie said...

sayyidah: inshaAllah, may Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala increase our knowledge of his deen, ameen.

UmmRania said...

Salamu Alaikum

I understand sister, I also hate seeing mothers who arent able to answer simple questions to their children, but even worse are showing bad examples. I guess I just wanted to put something out their for the sisters who are trying their hardest and are raising their children good that they dont have more stress put on them because they are not a scholar. A mother who encourages and enables Islamic education does not always have to be educated herself.......although it definetely helps.

May Allah bless you with children when its best for you!

asmaa said...

assalamu alaykum ukhti ! i had tears in my eyes from reading about the boy.. but pixie, dont be scared becoming a mother.. from your post i believe you would be a good muslim mother, and its just to work with it and we will inshaAllah learn during the time..
i work as a childminder and all "my" kids are muslims and it makes me responsible too in learning them dua and explaining such and such, and actually alhamdulillah, it aint THAT hard (okay, its not like im raising them, they´re here 6 hours a day... haha).. take care

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I think its true that you will never feel like you have enough knowledge to be a parent, but if you trust God he will lead you on the right path. I just hate it when I see supposedly Muslim parents letting immoral TV shows play in their house 24/7. Kids will model what they see done in front of them. If they see parents who pray, fear God, and are kind to one another, they will probably live with those same values. InshaAllah.