Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Multi-Cultural Marriages? Do they Work?

One of my friend's Mom's has just adjusted into her reverting/converting to Islam. She is okay with her being a Muslim---so long as she doesn't marry a Muslim man. I am assuming her Mom means an Arab-Muslim man---since I mean, most Moms out there have seen "Not Without My Daughter"---- because I mean, a Muslim woman isn't allowed to marry a non-muslim man. Well, since I am married to a Khaleeji-Arab I know that Arab mothers have similiar fears to my Russian-Ukrainian-Irish mother. So I prepared this mini presentation for my husband and I to send to both our Mom's as a bit of a joke. Mutlicultural marriages are alot of work but if the relationship is based on Islam then races and nations cease to be important to one. And as I am going to show you, most people have more in common when it comes to culture, than they have differences:I have a Canadian passport (ethnically I am Russian-Ukranian, Irish [a very distinct tribe] and Norman-French). My husband has a Saudi passport. Polar opposites, East and West, one would assume, but are we really? The picture above is the national cultural dresses of both of our regions, his in Saudi, and mine in the Ukraine, on the border of Russia. We both wear flowers in our hair, and have striped embroidery. We both have specific kilt (or for him--izhaar) patterns, and we both DO have tribes.
People seem to think that our ancestors lived in tents. Not true. While a great deal of my ancestors lived a nomadic lifetstyle (off on Viking long boats or on these makeshift houses after raiding foreign shores), mine were quite well rooted, and established a happy village life. Most people think my husbands whole country was populated by tent-dwelling Beduoin. His people were not nomadic whatsoever. Stereotypes. Viking raider. Saudi beduoin with his camels. LOL.
And just between us two, both of our ancestors (I mean, great great grandparents) made a living breeding horses. We are both natural born riders with our weight all being centered to the part of the body that is seated on a horse, with long light legs but a shorter upper physique. We both traditionally wear weapons at our waist, both men and women. Crazy things to have in common, but its true. It is only people's stereotypes that make us think we are so different. Were I from some Saudi tribe, or he from some Norman clan, no one would bother to say, your worlds can't connect, you don't have a history, you have different ways of doing things... Cuz really, we don't. The only things different are the he is a man, and I am a woman, things, if we have Islam in common. And I am not the biggest soccer fan. I like it, but I don't cry when my team loses, ya know?

14 comments:

*~Ange~* said...

one big YYYEEESSS!!!!

i dont think they are necessarily a lot of work. im married to someone not of my culture (arab) and i find there is no 'work' in between us. it all just falls into place. i guess what helps that along is that we both do things according to islam first and foremost, not according to our own individual cultures. that way the only part that culture plays is to be the spice in the relationship - best of both worlds if ya get me.

btw - that pic of the girl on the horse - i want what she is wearing made into an abaya!

Ayan said...

Indeed this is one of the beauties of Islam. The Quran clearly indicates that Allah (swt) made us from a single pair and made us into many different tribes and nations so that we may KNOW one another. We all have much in common if only we would sit down and listen to each other. Nonetheless, I'm for inter-cultural/multi-cultural and inter-racial marriages that are build upon Islam.

btw lovely pics and I sooo want those horses!

Coffee Catholic said...

If we really do come from God and He created us and we spread out from a small population and filled the earth... then it should be no surprise to anyone that all of us humans have a lot in common!

nanusa said...

coool post...nice one

Anonymous said...

sis im abit confused i thought you r from south africa.so you lived in oman,south africa and grew up in canadia but your origin is ukrainian,russian and irish saah? ;o)
miss sa

Pixie said...

Ange: LOL, that's cuz you haven't lived in Egypt yet. Then the work starts lol. If the couple is based in Islam though, the same things about eachother's countries will annoy eachother.

Pixie said...

Ayan: I am for people marrying for the sake of pleasing Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala all the way:D

Pixie said...

Coffee Catholic: obviously. But people fail to see the similarities that can be scary sometimes:D

Pixie said...

Nanusa: thinking about you and your habibi?:D

Pixie said...

Miss Sa: I do consider my culture South African. My real accent, my abilities to create things from what other people call scraps, my personality, are all formed there. My culture is almost entirely African but I am pretty sure that genetically I have no African blood while I am certain my husband, who is lol %100 Saudi, does, from his hair and features. I spent all my childhood there and since I spent little time with my parents until I was a teenager, that is where my culture is, but not my ethnicity.

Pixie said...

Miss Sa: LOL, the funny thing is, except for my trained Canadian accent, there isn't very much Canadian about me besides a passport.

Natalia said...

it was fun to read, especially because I am Ukrainian-russian, my husband is algerian and we live in Quebec (canada). :-))))

Anonymous said...

salam i am new to your blog but i am loving it..i am a born muslim alhamdulilah.i have a question ok, i am not married curently but inshalah i wish to get marrried.but my desire is to marry an arab man because i really love the culture.i dont wish to date or do anything haraam proir to marriage so how do i find what i am looking for without making the wrong choices?coz there are hardly any arabs were i live so how do i meet one?....salma

Anonymous said...

salaam pixie, i love your blog very informative. was just randomly reading your posts and came accross your comment that you stayed in south africa!!! omg, im from s.a too and i got all excited, cz i didnt expect that one. where in s.a did u stay? im from the mother city :-)