Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hello Lovlies, and Asalaam 3laykom

Dear loyal followers of I Love Hishma:

I have missed you. Really I have. I just have had no internet, went through alot in life, and had trouble deciding who I wanted to be.

Some of you thought of me as a rolemodel. For a while, I was in no shape to be one. And I never set out to be one. And I don't want to be one. One particular sister out there who was my friend and then gave up on me because I couldn't tell her the whole story: Don't judge, lol. Serriously. You have NO IDEA what some sisters go through.
But I am sorry if I disapointed you to find out I have troubles and deal with them not always to the sunnah. I should, it is best, but I failed.
One's rolemodel should be the Prophet Mohamed SAW and the other Prophets alahi wa salaam, and fashion inspiration can change and change and change, but the women of the Sahaba ROCK my world, more than designer abayas, and they decide my fiqh on make up and what can be shown or not ect...
Also, to tell you my story is to tell you the story of many men and women, and that is not my place, or my desire. Some of you ask. I have 700 unmoderated comments, all questions about my life or about a post and honestly, if you read the whole blog, you know all my opinions about hijab and jilbab ect...
This blog is my strictest beliefs of what I think correct Islam/hijab is. As a person, I am not nearly so unbending, and cultural things DO fascinate me, though I often do not equate them with Islam.
Hijab is an issue in fiqh that I am going to belittle by a silly comparison. This blog, if you read just one post and leave a comment, saying, LET THE UNRLEIGIOUS GIRLS WEAR HIJAB HOW THEY WANT, know, I am with you on that. If you read my whole blog, you would know I believe hijab is more than scarf and it is not a compulsion but an act of faith. Knowledge helps faith though. Sometimes it makes faith harder, because knowledge leads us to ask more questions. Sometimes the answers, if we have faith enough to wait for them, lead us to BELIEF, which is stronger even then faith. One post does not a blogger's opinion make. One rumour does not equal Pixie's life. One hadith does not a fatwa make, nor one ayah, but everything in its order and place in its entirety.
If my life is more important to you that what I have written, even if what I have written about hijab has been true, just because I am certainly not always perfect, then seek a higher example and don't bother with blogs. Read the books that document the source, the inspiration. If truth is more important human failing, know this blog records my strictest opinions. I have never meant to offend anyone. This is the measure I strive to measure to. Sometimes I don't have the strength to stand on my tippy-toes and strain to reach what is just beyond my capabilities but within the height of my knowledge and understanding.
Anyways, I have been writing along with a few other sisters (mainly recording their stories and mixing us all [and also one non-muslim sis who I adore]) on this blog for a while. Some of you know that.
I am never going to write my whole story. Not because I am ashamed of it but because one cannot tell their life story without invading the privacy of others.
And sister Hayah who I am collecting abayat for, please email me and confirm your address. Also if there are any sisters who can send sis Hayah somlai style khimars (which are definately not worn in Oman) in greys and blacks, leave a comment, let me know, and I will tell you where to send them by email.
Jazzakallah kheir and much love to you all.


American Niqabi said...

Salam alaikum! I'm glad to see that you're blogging again!I must admit, I do consider you a role model, of course I look to the prophet and his companions (Peace be upon him and may Allah be pleased with them) for a role model, but I also look to you because it's hard to practice Islam in the west yet you do it. I think that's probably why a lot of people look up to you. Anyway, I can't wait to read more of your posts!
salam alaikum

♥ααℓiα♥ said...

Hey Pixie

I completely agree with the whole not telling the whole story/invading other's privacy. On one extreme, I've had to edit and even delete content because certain ppl read it and made threats to "get" me and knowing what they are capable of, I complied. On a more not-so extreme end, I respect the people in my life who have/are helping me and I don't wanna "expose" them because they are so humble in their good deeds that they feel shy when somebody talks about it mashaaAllah.

As a Blogger or public character, we have the right to only tell as much as we feel comfortable. For example, I am not talking about one person who has caused me so much drama & grief no matter how many annoying questions I get.

Anyways at the end of the day, we can't please the people but we can try our best to please Allah.

That's one of the lessons I've learned, alhamdulillah :-)

P.S. Sorry for the very brief reply to your message -- I was so sleepy & actually slept but was waken by the crazy weather outside. I'll call you in a bit...

Coffee Catholic said...

How true it is that if we tell our whole story we invade the privacy of others. Very well put and I will keep that in mind!

nina said...

assalamu aleykum! i´m so happy to see you are back or at least for a short time :) i was worried you might close the blog because i love your writing. everybody needs a break sometimes to "find" themselves, and to me that is just fine. :) i was wondering why sister majda didnt continue this blog but nice to see you back.
i hope allah gives you and all sisters a lot of strength and guidence and helps us all find the true rolemodels. amen!
i hope everything good for you! :)

kakchik said...

salam pixie. I'm glad that I saw your blog updates from one of my friend's blog. it's eid night here so eid mubarak sis! I've been waiting for your update and even though this one is already 3 weeks old, it's still news to me as I know that you are still blogging. I think what you've written about modesty, hijab and islamic clothing are very much the same as the one I believe. So, that's why I keep coming for more. I'll pray to Allah that you'll have a reliable internet access soon so that you'll be able to continue writing.