I have missed you. Really I have. I just have had no internet, went through alot in life, and had trouble deciding who I wanted to be.
Some of you thought of me as a rolemodel. For a while, I was in no shape to be one. And I never set out to be one. And I don't want to be one. One particular sister out there who was my friend and then gave up on me because I couldn't tell her the whole story: Don't judge, lol. Serriously. You have NO IDEA what some sisters go through.
But I am sorry if I disapointed you to find out I have troubles and deal with them not always to the sunnah. I should, it is best, but I failed.
One's rolemodel should be the Prophet Mohamed SAW and the other Prophets alahi wa salaam, and fashion inspiration can change and change and change, but the women of the Sahaba ROCK my world, more than designer abayas, and they decide my fiqh on make up and what can be shown or not ect...
Also, to tell you my story is to tell you the story of many men and women, and that is not my place, or my desire. Some of you ask. I have 700 unmoderated comments, all questions about my life or about a post and honestly, if you read the whole blog, you know all my opinions about hijab and jilbab ect...
This blog is my strictest beliefs of what I think correct Islam/hijab is. As a person, I am not nearly so unbending, and cultural things DO fascinate me, though I often do not equate them with Islam.
Hijab is an issue in fiqh that I am going to belittle by a silly comparison. This blog, if you read just one post and leave a comment, saying, LET THE UNRLEIGIOUS GIRLS WEAR HIJAB HOW THEY WANT, know, I am with you on that. If you read my whole blog, you would know I believe hijab is more than scarf and it is not a compulsion but an act of faith. Knowledge helps faith though. Sometimes it makes faith harder, because knowledge leads us to ask more questions. Sometimes the answers, if we have faith enough to wait for them, lead us to BELIEF, which is stronger even then faith. One post does not a blogger's opinion make. One rumour does not equal Pixie's life. One hadith does not a fatwa make, nor one ayah, but everything in its order and place in its entirety.
If my life is more important to you that what I have written, even if what I have written about hijab has been true, just because I am certainly not always perfect, then seek a higher example and don't bother with blogs. Read the books that document the source, the inspiration. If truth is more important human failing, know this blog records my strictest opinions. I have never meant to offend anyone. This is the measure I strive to measure to. Sometimes I don't have the strength to stand on my tippy-toes and strain to reach what is just beyond my capabilities but within the height of my knowledge and understanding.
Anyways, I have been writing along with a few other sisters (mainly recording their stories and mixing us all [and also one non-muslim sis who I adore]) on this blog http://howtolivelikeanomaniprincess.blogspot.com/ for a while. Some of you know that.
I am never going to write my whole story. Not because I am ashamed of it but because one cannot tell their life story without invading the privacy of others.
And sister Hayah who I am collecting abayat for, please email me and confirm your address. Also if there are any sisters who can send sis Hayah somlai style khimars (which are definately not worn in Oman) in greys and blacks, leave a comment, let me know, and I will tell you where to send them by email.
Jazzakallah kheir and much love to you all.