Wednesday, December 29, 2010


So, the sections for the segment on sects will begin mid febuary-ish I suppose. So check ILH then:)

And for the sisters that wanted a way to contact me, you have to leave your emails in the comments section. Don't worry;) I don't post emails, I just need to know your emails to write you if you don't have a blog that has a post for me to leave comments on:D

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Test for any Student of Knowledge, before they can teach others as they know

Before I start posting the first segment on Sects in Islam on ILH, I want to share the following story on adab:

There is a Sheikh at an Islamic teaching institution (both of which shall remain nameless, because I hear he uses this test to the day) who had a student of his who was almost ready to graduate and move on to teach students of his/her own. This student knew all the Sheikh could teach him/her about the ways of the Prophet Mohamed sallalahu alahi wa salaam, at least in memory, and Qu'ran, but the Sheikh just had to make sure. He felt it was his responsibility that all his students inform others about Islam in the manner of it's beloved Prophet.

So the Sheikh struck up a point with his young protege, about salat, which the student adamantly believed, no KNEW to be incorrect. And despite being presented with his student's daleel in an Islamic manner (proper adab/manners) the Sheikh refused to see his protege's point.

This made the student very frustrated and angry.

When the Sheikh insisted his student aknowledge the Shiekh as his/her teacher, and his way also correct, the student grew stubborn, but more than that, the student grew proud, and condemned his/her beloved teacher for their ignorance.

The Shiekh knew he was being ignorant, and had planned it thus. For the Qu'ran warns all believers, especially those of knowledge who would impart it, that they will be tested by the ignorant, even among those who claim to be Muslims: "Hatred flows out of their mouths and what they hide in their chests is far worse.... When they meet you they say, "We believe," but as soon as they leave, they bite their fingers out of rage towards you." [3:118-120]. And warns also of those with delusions of their own grandeur: "If something good happens to you, they hurt, and if an affliction befalls you, they say, "We told you so," as they turn away rejoicing. "[9:50-52].

But he wanted to see if his student was ready for the task of being a teacher of Islam, and understood all this. That the student could teach without being tricked by Shaytaan.

The Shiek's student failed his test, even though the student's KNOWLEDGE was quite correct.

Because of the student's adab.

Seeing the student in a rage, proud and haughty, the Shiekh told the student that actually the whole debate had been but a test to see his student's understanding of Islamic manners in debate. And the Sheikh told the confused but humbled student they still had a few more years of study to go, since they had become angry with another Muslim for a matter that was not a sin against the honor of Islam, and because of their misplaced pride.

For the Messenger of Allah has said: "Anger comes from the Shaytaan/ the devil..."(Dawud, Narrated Atiyyah as-Sa'di) . And "“ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength” "But the strong is the one who controls his own self while in anger."

As for pride?

It is of Shaytaan, unless it is wholly for the sake of Allah, and none for one's own self or reputation. For the Quran says of Shaytaan: "Allah says, 'He was proud and he was of the disbelievers.' [Soorah Saad (38): 74], and the Prophet Mohamed says "'He will not enter Paradise who has even a speck of pride in his heart.'" [Saheeh Muslim] .

Allah advises us in the Holy Quran to guard ourselves from pride in arguing over the meaning of ayat in a way for our own glory or misguidances: "'Verily, those who dispute about the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allah, without any authority having come to them... is nothing else in their breasts except pride? So seek refuge in Allah.' [from being like these people].' [Surah Ghafir].

I think it is the perfect lesson to remember as we start this content, for as commentators on the last post remarked, since this section will be about sects, there'll be some major differences of opinion.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Hijab has been thoroughly documented on I LOVE HISHMA: onto sects in Islam since people made a big fuss about them on this blog:)

It's been a long time now hasn't it. Sorry life has a way of getting crazy.

But I would totally like to do a new section which is the study of Islamic sects (my personal thoughts interjected so please forgive) and after that, Islamic history AFTER the death of the Prophet Mohamed S.A.W.

I will say what I personally find correct, but I am going to try and find some guest writers to write from the perspectives of other sects, like Shia and Ibadhi, (and other, MORE splinter sects of each of us) as well, since I am SOOOOOOOOOOO tired of people on this blog being mean to me for me believing as I do, and feeling compelled to write what I BELIEVE or know to be correct. So if we all say what why we do what we do, call ourselves as we do, then at least, if we agree to disagree, it isn't in ignorance.

I want to do this because there is huge misunderstandings between us all. And I want the ummah united.

"I truly believe that the names Sunni (of the sunnah) Shia (followers of Ali) [Because Sunni, Shia, and Ibadhi all recognized Ali to be a Calipha at one time] and Ibadhi (Obedient to the Will of Allah) should apply aptly to ALL Muslims. . We SHOULD be these things, regardless of what we call ourselves. We should not be nations or titles, but everything that a Muslim is supposed to be." -Pixie

We *SHOULD* only say "I am a Muslim".

At the same time, I *HATE* when people use hadiths that don't go back to the right time period, or the chains of narration that are broken, or misuse term they don't understand, or the narrator was historically known to be a liar, or the historian had a political bias.

SO ACCADEMICALLY TERMS MUST EXIST. But let us explore them and their origins, and impact TOGETHER, as a Muslim ummah that desires knowledge of it beginnings, to determine its course.

So this new section of I LOVE HISHMA will begin (albeit slowly) with me, Pixie, saying, "I am a Muslim". This is what I am saying from a purely Islamic standpoint. I acknowledge that other Muslim bloggers with different historical understandings than me, through THEIR understandings, are also Muslims, though ACCADEMICALLY, on this point I *might* sometimes disagree, and they with me.

Can we do this together, all with the greatest respect to eachother? Do we have the will to see things from a different perspective to perhaps see where maybe we had some bias or misinformation, or misunderstanding as to other's intentions?

I am certainly not asking anyone to be threatened to conform to my way of seeing the world. But I want to know what you see and how you see it, expressing at the same time, what I do, where something makes sense, or where something contradicts what I know.

So if ya'll approve... We can start in the next few days inshaAllah :)

My shia sistas, I'll probably need your help for your perspective, since I am kinda far off from yours on a few basic things, so if ya'll don't mind for the benefit of others, sharing why you believe something and why you do things:) [At the same time not being offended if I don't post a hadith of yours (goes for Sunni and Ibadhi too!) that I believe is not sahih since I have to use what I consider ACCADEMIC historical authentication which I studied in univeristy.] So please, if I ask for help, please do, and without offense. I am actually not hating on anybody, though I have been told my writing tone can be harsh. I am very against discrimination and "ya'll are not Muslims" antics. Wallah, lol.

K, that's all for now. Let me know your thoughts.

Ammendment: I want to stress, after reading Nida's most excellent post that I HIGHLY recommend for my readers if any of you remain after my long absences;), I do believe that there is only ONE Islam. I do not possibly think that all sects can possibly correct. But I personally need knowledge of them, and my own, to determine if I am indeed "Just a Muslim" or if I am following something less than what the Prophet Mohamed Sallahu alahi wa salaam was upon.

To quote Nida in short (and the Qu'ran) :D in case you're to lazy to follow the link:

“Then We put you, [O Muhammad], on an ordained way concerning the matter [of religion]; so follow it and do not follow the inclinations of those who do not know.” (45:18)

“And if you obey most of those upon the earth, they will mislead you from the way of Allah. They follow not except assumption, and they are not but falsifying.” (6:116)

And from these, and many other verses like it, God tells us that most of these interpretations are false. Additionally, He tells us that there is only one siraat al mustaqeem.

Mankind was [of] one religion [before their deviation]; then Allah sent the prophets as bringers of good tidings and warners and sent down with them the Scripture in truth to judge between the people concerning that in which they differed. And none differed over the Scripture except those who were given it - after the clear proofs came to them - out of jealous animosity among themselves. And Allah guided those who believed to the truth concerning that over which they had differed, by His permission. And Allah guides whom He wills to a straight path.” (2:113)

“Progressive Islam” would like to have us believe that we can all live in our own truth – that all those wild interpretations out there are all Islam. But this cannot be. Allah revealed one religion to the prophet(s). Islam is one, while interpretations are many. Let’s be careful not to conflate the two.

-from Nida, author of the blog, "Ideal Muslimah"

Friday, November 19, 2010

Asalaam alaykom all:

I know, I know, I am the world's worst blogger in the history of hijab bloggers.

But I have been busy and I have recently met with quite a few heads of Islamic education and this has always been a dream child of mine but...

What do you think of an Islamic University that can be taught jointly in English AND in Arabic, so that studies can be pursued in both lanuages at the same time?

I know I wanted that when I was a new convert.

Now this doesn't exist anywhere yet, but what about an Islamic University that teaches Islamic history and jurisprudence from every side? I mean, Sunni, Shia, Ibadhi, Sufi, what have you, and teachers the head of their feilds from all over the world leading classes through video so that you get the best from Madinah, Al Ahzar, Iran, and the West? As ya'll know, I need to buff up on my Jaffari shariah (since I am not Shia who am I to tell you what all shia believe right?). A university where true dialogue takes place, and no one school of thoughts takes precendance over the students' mind, only their rational skills, and the evidence, which they would be taught, through jurisprudence, and history (preIslamic, Seerah-era, Salafi, Caliphate, and Modern), as well as classical Arabic, Quran, tauhid, tafseer, ahadith, ect...

Through which students could choose to specialize in numerous feilds. Banking, family counselling, marriage counselling/divorce counselling and law, Imam training, Sheikh [teaching] training, Islamic art, Islamic music, Islamic media, Islamic marketing, Islamic medicine, Islamic sciences.... Having a course load similiar to other University programs which would be transferable for course credits at universities through out the world [both Islamic and Accademic], not only of a religious nature, but endeavoring to the richness of classical Islamic thought and achievments.

Think about it. Islam has so many areas of study.

  • History, through all its periods, from historical as well as Islamic sources.

-including classical Arabic


-how to authenticate Islamic daleel (evidences)

-historical branches, such as shariah, and textiles, even archeology and anthropology

  • Shariah and Islamic Jurisprudance


-schools of thought including ALL sects and madhabs

-specialized focus into developed subject realms as as Sheikh training and overall course for Imams

-dealing with Islam in the modern day

  • Quran and Sunnah

-in terms of tauhid

-language and litterature



  • Applications of Islamic Knowledge

-development of Islamic medium such as internet and television programming, articles, ect...

-development and conservation of knowledge and resources through archives and new articles and journals

-Islamic art and design

-Islamic music/dance [halal alternatives]

-Islamic banking

-Sadaqah management

-Family Management

-Community Managment

I see endless possibilities, and I am still brainstorming right now, how EXACTLY to get it off the ground. But if it were at all possible, how many of you would be interested, either as qualified teachers, or as students?

I mean, me personally, I am not all that into what they are teaching at Al Ahzar beyond language and old madhabs, and going to Iran to study is a bit scary for one whose written what I have (yet I like to read books from Iran). And Saudi is hard for female students unless they are married or have family there.

Sooo let me know what ya'll think.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hello Lovlies, and Asalaam 3laykom

Dear loyal followers of I Love Hishma:

I have missed you. Really I have. I just have had no internet, went through alot in life, and had trouble deciding who I wanted to be.

Some of you thought of me as a rolemodel. For a while, I was in no shape to be one. And I never set out to be one. And I don't want to be one. One particular sister out there who was my friend and then gave up on me because I couldn't tell her the whole story: Don't judge, lol. Serriously. You have NO IDEA what some sisters go through.
But I am sorry if I disapointed you to find out I have troubles and deal with them not always to the sunnah. I should, it is best, but I failed.
One's rolemodel should be the Prophet Mohamed SAW and the other Prophets alahi wa salaam, and fashion inspiration can change and change and change, but the women of the Sahaba ROCK my world, more than designer abayas, and they decide my fiqh on make up and what can be shown or not ect...
Also, to tell you my story is to tell you the story of many men and women, and that is not my place, or my desire. Some of you ask. I have 700 unmoderated comments, all questions about my life or about a post and honestly, if you read the whole blog, you know all my opinions about hijab and jilbab ect...
This blog is my strictest beliefs of what I think correct Islam/hijab is. As a person, I am not nearly so unbending, and cultural things DO fascinate me, though I often do not equate them with Islam.
Hijab is an issue in fiqh that I am going to belittle by a silly comparison. This blog, if you read just one post and leave a comment, saying, LET THE UNRLEIGIOUS GIRLS WEAR HIJAB HOW THEY WANT, know, I am with you on that. If you read my whole blog, you would know I believe hijab is more than scarf and it is not a compulsion but an act of faith. Knowledge helps faith though. Sometimes it makes faith harder, because knowledge leads us to ask more questions. Sometimes the answers, if we have faith enough to wait for them, lead us to BELIEF, which is stronger even then faith. One post does not a blogger's opinion make. One rumour does not equal Pixie's life. One hadith does not a fatwa make, nor one ayah, but everything in its order and place in its entirety.
If my life is more important to you that what I have written, even if what I have written about hijab has been true, just because I am certainly not always perfect, then seek a higher example and don't bother with blogs. Read the books that document the source, the inspiration. If truth is more important human failing, know this blog records my strictest opinions. I have never meant to offend anyone. This is the measure I strive to measure to. Sometimes I don't have the strength to stand on my tippy-toes and strain to reach what is just beyond my capabilities but within the height of my knowledge and understanding.
Anyways, I have been writing along with a few other sisters (mainly recording their stories and mixing us all [and also one non-muslim sis who I adore]) on this blog for a while. Some of you know that.
I am never going to write my whole story. Not because I am ashamed of it but because one cannot tell their life story without invading the privacy of others.
And sister Hayah who I am collecting abayat for, please email me and confirm your address. Also if there are any sisters who can send sis Hayah somlai style khimars (which are definately not worn in Oman) in greys and blacks, leave a comment, let me know, and I will tell you where to send them by email.
Jazzakallah kheir and much love to you all.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Blog Moderator found: Thank You Majda

Jazzakallah kheir Majda for taking on the site;)

Volunteer Blog Author/Moderator Courdinater Needed

To all those sisters helping me with the previous post, let me remind you all of this site (mine) that hasn't been used in quite a while. This is how it all worked:

The thing is, I REALLY don't have time to run it right now. I don't have regular internet access. Or free time. So if there is a sister of good reputation in the blogging community or with a recommendation from a sister of good standing in the blogging community who has time to volunteer and be a co-author (and maybe knows how to use the chip-in widget) please leave your email and a little about yourself in the comments section. I will not publish. Thank you!
-a "very-busy-and-internt-less" Pixie

Thursday, August 12, 2010

For Hayah love from Pixie

To the sister who just left me this comment: "I really love Sunnah Style, I really do. But if they came down like $15.00 on their abaya price I think their volume of sales would quadruple. I am sure they sell a lot already but their sales would quadruple. Also if they did not charge so much extra for shipping when you order something like a niqab or hijab they would get more sales too.I used to have like 10 of their abayaat at one point in time, in fact I have a testimonial on their website.Unfortunately I got divorced (islamically but am still married legally unfortunately) and due to my lack of finances I had to sell all my abayaat off. So now I just wear the plain one and it is pretty beaten up. It has holes in the hem, the arms are about to come off at the seams, wearing the same abaya almost daily for like a year and a half has kinda made people start talking about me and gossiping about me but whatever. I do wash it in the sink several times a week. But no one cares.I just wish their prices were lower. It would be nice to get a couple abayaat, a khimar and maybe a veil for $100.But with Sunnah Style it would be like $250. Maybe more cuz I am bigger and taller and those extra $5, $6, $3 for alterations add up :(And their stuff is soooo goooood. I looove their stuff."

Send me your measurements, pics of what you like, and your address, I will not post, and I will try to get for you. Abayas where I am from cost less, and I am friends with some tailors.

InshaAllah we'll try to get you a Ramadaan gift that will get you through another year or too, time to save for sunnah style;)

I recently went through a rough financial time and so many people helped me and my family out mashaAllah, in fact where I am living now, everything was a gift, from my bed to my clothing and toilet plunger lol. So please, let me return the favour if I can;) now that I am back on my feet. Abaya and niqab and khimar ;) I can do.

Paying it forward has always been a Muslim thing;)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Hijab Fashion Blogger: Stylish Muslimah

And this is the link to Zaenab's blog
since I forgot it in my last post.

Monday, August 2, 2010

About Turbah: saying it is necessary for salat is a bidah

As I have said often (we may agree to disagree) I believe some Shia sisters add something to salat when they use a turbah (stating something or natural fibre ect like dirty, clay, or reeds, must be used for salat during prostration, ie you know that time when your head is on the ground????).

Adding something to salat that the Prophet Mohamed sallalahu alahi wa salaam did not is called a bidah. Honestly I don't think praying with your arms at your sides is a bida my shia & ibhadhi sisters. I think it is mustahaab (beneficial) to fold them across your chest in the manner most often done by the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam but I don't think it is a bidah to keep them at your sides. Just better the other way, as that IS more OFTEN the sunnah. Anyyyyyyyways, I have gone off topic as I tend to do....

I often feel that some shia sisters (and brothers) are missing the whole point of the hadith they quote to claim as proof that we are to use turbah. We can pray on anything clean is what the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam was saying, and he simply told us that earth, ie dirt and clay is clean. For example, dirt, clay, tile, ect are ALL clean. Praying on a surface of dirt or clay itself is not the bidah!!!!! Yes, my Sunni sisters with less than perfect adab, that is true! That the earth and the materials it contains EXCEPT FOR THOSE WE WERE EXPRESSLY TOLD WERE HARAAM are for us to pray on: In the Quran, Allah (SWT) has said "We have created for you the earth to prostrate on". So we know we are to pray on every corner of the globe, from the mountains, the snow, to deserts, and in our homes. Unless we were named something of the earth that was no halal to do so upon.
WHAT IS A BIDA is saying the clay or dirt are necessary for salat or make the salat more the sunnah. That's the bidah. *****Bringing a piece of clay in from somewhere so pray on? This is adding extra material to one's salat, an object, something the Prophet Salalahu alahi wa salaam NEVER DID.************ warnings, flashing lights, around this one. As if driving, use caution on this.

Those that do so from Karbala usually hold a narrative of hadiths (innovated and fabricated sources alas, and I am sorry to say this because so many of my shia sisters who I believe have been given falsified accounts) that "CLAIM" that Umm Salamah heard the Prophet say that clay from this place would turn red when his grandson Hussayn was killed. This is a false hadith of a chain of narration THAT DOES not date to the time period of the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam, or even four generations AFTER. It dates to a time period of the Persian Empire. So that is not evidence.

Looking at sahih evidence that sister Zaenab provided from her blog "Stylish Muslimah" [she is of the opinion in support of turbah---and has great fashion sense mashaAllah] I still say... you are misreading the point of the ahadith (in my opinion). Which is as I have stated numerous times on the same issue. Clean is halal.
I asked (and sister Zaenab tried, and Zaenab jazzakallah kheir for real and am sincere in this) someone to provide me a solid chain of narration stating the Prophet brought a piece of dirt with him inside on top of another clean surface to pray on. I said if one could, I would change my mind.

So here goes what I have been given so far [though I myself STILL have not read the hadiths in their full narration in the original Arabic and would like to]:

Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri: I saw Allah's Apostle prostrating in mud and water and saw the mark of mud on his forehead.
[Al-Bukhari, Sahih (English translation), vol. 1, book 12, no. 798; vol. 3, book 33, no. 244]

As I've said before, the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam told us that praying on dirt was clean and halal, not that it was a requirement of salat. This hadith does not prove a requirement of turbah, only of the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam praying OUTSIDE, and that obviously, mud may be dirty, but it is 100% clean and halal to use as a surface for salat.
Narrated Anas bin Malik: We used to pray with the Prophet in scorching heat, and if someone of us could not put his face on the earth (because of the heat) then he would spread his clothes and prostrate over them.
[Al-Bukhari, Sahih (English translation), vol. 2, book 22, no. 299]

Some will twist this hadith to say that the only time YOU ARE ALLOWED to use a mat ect and not dirt is if it too hot. Did the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi salaam say that? No. Does this hadith prove that. No. It says they prayed on the ground unless it was too hot. You know why? He did not wish to put his clothes on the ground. Clothing back then was a wealth and more of an expense than it is nowadays due to the time it took to make things. This hadith does not show use of a turbah or a requirement of earth. IN FACT IT SAYS HE USED HIS CLOTHING!

Narrated Maymuna: Allah's Apostle used to pray on a Khumra.
[Al-Bukhari, Sahih (English translation), vol. 1, book 8, no. 378]
According to al-Shawkani, a famous Sunni scholar, more than ten Companions of the Prophet (s) have narrated traditions mentioning his prostration on a Khumrah. And he lists all the Sunni sources recording these traditions which include Sahih Muslim, Sahih al-Tirmidhi, Sunan Abu Dawud, Sunan al-Nasa'i and many others.
[Al-Shawkani, Nayl al-Awtar , Chapter of Prostration on the Khumrah, vol. 2, p. 128]

So what is a khumrah?A khumra IS A PRAYER MAT!!!!!!!!! It is not dirt brought into the home, or CLAY!!!! This hadith DISPROVES to me any claim that a turbah required, and yet is used as proof for a turbah? Yes, a khumra ie prayer mat is made out of natural materials like palm fibers in the Prophet's day, they didn't HAVE IKEA back then!!!!!!!!!! LOL. Synthetics weren't invented until the last 100 years or so. I am sorry but I am still looking for a hadith that says the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam brought a piece of dirt or clay into his home and stuck his head on it for salat. I have been made more certain of my stance, not less so, by the evidence provided.
And for the anon, I took out the Santa Caluse comment because it could be misconstrued as judgemental ect.... and I am not. [if you would like to edit my wording please help me to do so because my aim is not to judge or alienate anyone but to share opinions and facts and beliefs ect].
I love ALL my sisters in Islam, and alot of Sunnis do bidahs too, which I want to write more about soon, and WILL. For example, when a Shia sis is using a khumra made from palm leave and you have got your cotton sajadah, if you try and tell her what she is using is not of the Sunnah, and that she is out of the fold of Islam for what she's done, YOU MAY be, for simply being WRONG, and stating something Allah subhanhu wa ta'ala NEVER DID.
Which is why I was upset hearing about one of my shia sis kicked in the head during her Hajj. IF I WAS MUTTAWA I would simply say, "teach me why you are doing what you are doing, and then I will show you why I think that is not right, and we may both learn from eachother." WHICH IS THE SUNNAH of the Prophet Mohamed salalahu alahi wa salaam. People are often afraid of what they do not understand or what they cannot control. If I do not agree with your understanding after I showed you all that I knew, I may be upset, but I know that is for Allah to judge then, and all that is left is to pray for your guidance, and indeed guidance for me that I am on the correct path (go Surah Al Fatiha!!!!).
As Muslims our aim is to teach and to warn eachother. Not kick eachother in the head or belittle others.
If I honestly think I am right, I should be able to teach you or lead by example. I shouldn't have to drive you from places where I like to pray. AAaaaaaaaaaand that is my last thought for the day:). Love you all for the sake of Allah.

Been a long time... lol, don't get used to it

navy niqab @ for $10.99 USD

BTW, sorry my set kind sucks, I am rusty,

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Up to 541 unmoderated comments, ughhhhhhhh

Soooooooooooooooooooooo Pixie UPDATE:

I am in Oman. [Most of my loyal readers and blog friends know this] I came to the Gulf to find halal employment. My old job was in a bank. That dealt in riba. Soooo... Yes Y [my Saudi husband for those that are unfamiliar with the blog], I know you don't want me to bother with ANY personal information, but people back home, ummmmm, I didn't leave my husband because I didn't like him?! WTH? LOL, some of the gossip people engage in is really funny. It is like that children's game, Telephone, where you whisper something in one person's ear and it comes back to you after passing a circle and it is sooooooooooo messed up, lol, is nothing like what you originally said at all?

I came here because I wanted to have an easier life, I mean, be able to wear niqab even if I want and walk down the street like that is normal. Y had to stay in Canada. Our life was there, and yes, lol, I winced out of the hard stuff. But alhamdulilah, after Ramadaan Y can come here.

I know some crazy stuff happened with Aalia (anyone gossiping about her or taking joy in her current sit. you are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond messed up and Allah guide you and take pity on you, ameen) and people I think are mixing us, because we have been BFF for a long time, & because of what I said in relation to Aalia's current situation over at "Chasing Jannah." I am in a totally different situation than Aalia so please don't try and "guess" or be "suspicious" of what, lol, I didn't come to you and say? It's REALLY annoying. My life is going great, alhamdulilah, and it has been a challenge, and I've had to think about what is really important, ie what I need out of life and what makes a marriage and where to live ect, but those are normal things for any mature person. I am sorry I don't share much beyond my general spot on the globe. I used to blog alot and realized it had become a pressure, and alot of people wanted to know about my personal life. Those I am close with well even them I keep some things private from.

Some people were flat out mean. What they said wasn't true so I don't even have to mention it. You mixing people and places. LOL, some of the gossip was great. Now I will never watch Celeb gossip shows again. Of any kind. I feel bad for them. I no longer have a TV or a regularily accesible computer or a CD player and you know what, I am so happy LOL.

Anyways, the point of this post is to say, I have retired from major daily fashion posting. I still love fashion and hijab but don't have the energy to make sets and surf the net for pics. I said everything I believe is important to be said about hijab all the ways I could say it.

As for Islam, I studying Surah Al Baqarah right now, memorizing it in English and Arabic and studying the tasfeer around it. It takes me a whole day to memorize and understand 1 ayah? Well, lol, so what?! There aren't as many ayaat in Al Bakarah as there are days in the year so if I manage 1 a day in 1 year I'll have learnt quite alot. I would like to post on this all eventually. And finish writing a "Girl's Guide to Islam" but I am quite busy just living and being happy and being thankful to Allah for all that He subhanhu wa ta'ala has provided.

Monday, July 12, 2010

491 Unmoderated Comments, OH DEAR!!!!

Asalaam alaykom ramatullahi wa barakto dearest sisters (and extroidinarily LOYAL followers):

I have been AWOL. I have 491 unmoderated comments! I don't know what to start with. I still don't have a computer so please forgive me, I don't like to go to internet cafes.

As for my personal life, I have settled quite nicely in Oman. I have a beautiful villa in a safe neighborhood (as opposed to before) and Y is coming in Ramadaan. Boxie will be back unless we marry her off.

I got offered a job in the abaya industry and in journalism here but for some reason where I am working right now just seemed more right. I am focussing less on dawah and more on educating myself (forgive all LOL, it is one of the blessings of being in the Gulf). But I still get to give dawah, ironically, to born Muslims.

I truly do love Oman. It is peaceful here.

A unique thing I have learnt about the country is the types of Islam practiced here. The main population of Oman practices Ibhadhi Islam, a small small minority are Shia (mainly in Mutrah area), and the Sunnis tend to be from Sur (Sharqiyah region). So I have had the oppurtunity to study Shia sources and Ibhadhi ones. I still hold fast to believing my readings in the Sunnah carry more weight and the basic principles of Shiaism to me are very wrong (also the history of the Saudi Royal Family makes me soooooo mad about what they practice as 'sunnah'). One of my friends who is shia got kicked in the head on hajj for using her clay stone. I of course think the use of the stone a bida but kicking someone ( a little girl of 8!!!!) in the head????? HOW IS THAT GOING TO CHANGE HER MIND? MAKE HER MINDLESS maybe... Grrrr.

Anyways, love Oman, will try to post more regularily. I have just taken a vacation from blogging. Please forgive!

Love always,

Monday, March 1, 2010

Answer to Karima's Questions

Dear Karima, thank you for your questions,

I'll answer them as best I can but in my own personal way

Q. [religions] put so much pressure on women to be modest, and seemingly correct this wrong by muting women's natural femininity/sexuality by having them cover up, as if womens breasts, lips, thighs, legs, belly's arms or hair are the issues, when absolutely the issues are mens longterm objectification of women, mens inability to respect their female counterparts regardless of their dress, mens desire to make women sexual only instead of spiritual, intellectual and sexual ( just like them....) and mens inability to control their sexual desires or feelings of superiority around women. I wonder why women are treating like the problem and asked to conform to check mens shortcomings?

A. I wholeheartedly agree, and the beautiful thing about Islam is, that the Prophet Mohammed sallalahu alahi wa salam did as well! He ALWAYS told men that THEM controlling themselves by looking away from a woman who might tempt them came BEFORE how a woman dresses. Men weren't stressed about how women should dress but how they should behave. It was for women themselves' to stress about how they should dress to please their Creator. So I think for me it is simple, I follow the examples set in the sources of my religion, not in those claiming to follow my religion.

Q. And secondly ... how can anyones faith be written if faith by definition is belief in what is unknown?...meaning not what is learned or written but what is held in the heart and the thinking , examining mind. Ok, i know I have used numerous run-on sentences and my two questions are a tad (maybe more than a tad) wordy but i hope you understand them and I hope you respond as I would love to read your response...again I would like to remind you that as a fellow woman I thoroughly enjoy your blog and your world-view and am very happy that i stumbled upon your blog!

A. Thank you for liking my blog. This is something my father asked me. My answer is, faith is in the person, and it is always seeking the right, the truth, and cannot comprehend anything but the truth and the right, though human will may choose other than that. Religion speaks to faith, but faith is not the same as the truth. For me, Islam is the truth, and speaks to me in all that is right, and it was what my faith was seeking. The unknown is not so unknown. We all crave the the truth and the right even when their exact form is intangible and beyond what we can hold. We often use the word "faith" for what is beyond faith, the only thing that faith answer to. That may sound a bit philosophical in itself, but I said, that's my personal response. Hope that makes sense, inshaAllah!

Friday, February 19, 2010

My Omani Outfit, and a Wife's Rights Over Husband (beyond financial)

Since alot of women read this blog, I thought I'd share an interesting article written by a Sheikh I just read on a woman's rights over her husband. Most sites say, yada yada yada, this is the husband's rights over his wife in a dispute, and mashaAllah, these things are wonderful to know, but many women tell me that we have no rights over our husbands in disputes and the like, beyond financial things. This is not so, ya Rub!!!!!!

But first, I'd like to share with ya'll, a pic of my Omani outfit. Yes, the hijab should cover the chest, but I wasn't going out of my home, LOL, so I didn't try to style it as neat as I could have. I am new to the whole "warqiya" (Omani tasselled shawl thing). A local (well, long-time expat) friend tried to show me how to do it, but she's a little less strict on the whole hijab thing than me, LOL.

What do you think? Boxie says I look like a green firefly, LOL, but my Omani friends were all super excited that I actually wore it (only once!). They were all like, but you are Canadian, you can get away without black abaya all the time...

Now to the article (note: I didn't write it):

Q: I have frequently read what, according to Islamic teachings, a husband may or may not do in a dispute with his wife if he attributes it to disagreement with or misbehavior of his wife. I almost never read anything about the opposite situation: if the wife has a disagreement with her husband or *he* misbehaves. Things are nearly always told from the man's point of view! What are the wife's rights in the case of bad behavior of her husband?

A: Praise belongs to Allah the Lord of all the worlds. Blessings and Peace on the Messenger of Allah, and on his Family and all his Companions.

Allah ordered the believers to "consort with women in kindness" (4:19) and He said: "And of His signs are this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect" (30:21).

A Wife's Basic Rights Regarding Her Husband's Behavior

NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.

1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"

2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).

3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.

4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."

5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.

6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.

7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.

8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.

9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.

10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.

11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).

12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.

13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).

For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.

14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.

15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.

These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of one's adherence to the Sunna and an exalted state of life indeed. In the words of the Prophet (s), it permits one to meet Allah "pure and cleansed" (tahiran mutahharan). One's behavior towards one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet (s) said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives." Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward. The Prophet (s) called it "his way" (al-nikahu sunnati) and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two rak`at (prayer-cycles) of the married person are better than seventy rak`at of the unmarried." He also warned that among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the treatment of their wives.

And may Allah's blessings and peace be upon Muhammad,
his Family and all his Companions,
and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Omani Clothing

So I have moved to Oman permanently, au reviour Canada. I am staying in the Gulf for what will probably be the rest of my life, but Allahualim, you know?
So while there aren't many pictures until I get a skanner, above is the fish-n-tail dress of Salalah, and below, some of the different traditional dresses from in and around Muscat. All can be worn with khimar (hijab) but usually abaya is worn where I live.
That's all my hijab reporting for now folks.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Modesty is More than Clothes

On this blog sisters have often criticized me for being "too judgemental" when I have written articles on the different aspects of hijab, and intentions for wearing hijab. One can look at posts such as "are the feet awrah" "is niqab mustahaab or wajib" or "cover your chest!" and be like, WHOA, THIS SISTA IS HARSH."

LOL, if only you knew me, he he he, I've never been one to point out a girl on the street and be like, "omigod does she think those leggings are jilbab"- "gadzooks, check out the makeup on that niqabi"- or yell "put some clothes on" to a non-muslim woman in an Arab country, though sometimes I admit, I do a double take. Cleavage with hijab distracts, as well as seeing butt cheeks go up and down in abaya, or fake eyelashes and plucked brows and glittery shadow with niqab. I just go, what is the point but... But to me judging or yelling at people or talking behind their backs---that's bad hijab too. Worse sometimes than another sister's mistake. Maybe when we are being harsh, it is because something is lacking in ourselves and the offensive is our defence?!!!!

No, what I have written, while filtered in my own personal leanings, is directed firstly to myself. it is directed to any woman like myself, who has a love of halal things like design and colour but who wants to hear what the sunnah says, what the examples in the seerah show us. When I am writing "Allah says this is best for us, or a must for us," or "this is what women of the sahaba wore because..." I am not saying any woman who doesn't understand or agree with that is bad or worse, subhanaAllah! LOL, okay, I guess it isn't really funny, but the way people read what we write and miss why we are writing us funny sometimes. Sometimes I get offended when people don't understand me, and I have to realize, hey, I do the same sometimes so be patient and wait, making the best excuses for it.

For me personally, I like hearing nasiha (Islamic advice) about hijab with daleel (evidence from the Qu'ran and Sunnah) from a sister in a non-embarrassing one-on-one conversation, where she's sweet and thoughtful about it. How else do we learn about Islam? I DO apologize, I can't do that online, really LOL. Anyways, then if I think the sister's advice to be wrong, and I disregard it, I prefer her not to nag me about it. If I disregard it and she thinks that's she's right, she should pray for my guidance from Allah. That's the way to do it in person. That is the Islamic way.

Of course, blogs like mine, since they generally aren't directed at any one person I believe it is entirely okay to post multiple hijab posts on a similar issue. It isn't nagging or picking on anybody. If one has a different opinion, they may blog about it on their blog, of course. It is sharing/storing information, even if it is for myself, or others seeking what I learnt after making some mistakes first LOL.

I have discovered that, sadly, in real life women that wear niqabs and gashwas can call down other women in the malls for wearing tight clothes with hijab or girls with no hijabs or Islam at all, but then, have worse hijab in actions and even in dress, on a different day.

When I see girls in ridiculously tight abayas or lack or khimar and jilbab, I don't think I am better than them, and I don't click my tongue at them an go "ayb". I don't know their intentions and the extent of their religious knowledge and the state of their imaan. I simply know that with my understanding my clothing might fulfill the requirements of the Qu'ran better than my skinny-jeans wearing sister in Islam, or my non-hijabi girlfriend. And while I know my clothing meets the requirements of the shariah and theirs does not, clothing alone does not equate modesty. My girl Hanoony has no headscarf but she is of a more modest strain than I am, and Boxie, who used to have a thing for her skinnies, now has simply abayaat than mine, and she doesn't wear make-up, and she doesn't talk as loud in public as I do.

So I know if we work to improve our knowledge about hiojab for ourselves, and our personalities, and we advise eachother in real-life instead of randomly pointing some chicas out in the mall, and pray for eachother' guidance, then the state of our imaan (faith) and the pressure we feel as women in Islam, will balance out. It may be hard, but it isn't that hard, lol.

Sorry I haven't written in a long time. I just haven't been into fashion (strange, I know!). I've had some personal issues and still no internet source. Forgive me those of you who have been loyal readers and forgive me also those of you who think of me as a know-it-all. Serriously, if I've offended you in the past, ever, I extend an invitation- if you're ever in Muscat, Oman I'll pay for tea or coffee and show you the woman between the lines of the blog and make ammends by being by being other than what I am able to communicate in type.

May Allah guide us all, and keep us on the straight path, ameen.

Sunday, January 3, 2010


Salaam alaykom everyone! So sorry I haven't been blogging. My life has been a whirlwind of adventures, misadventures, lol, and private things, also, I haven't had internet. I want you to know I am safe, and happy, and will start blogging in a few months. So please forgive the lack of updates. I wish you a happy belated Eid, and the best imaan and health for you and your families.